SEX & INTIMACY COACHINGRealize your capacity for sexual connection & intimacy
“Shelby is the rare person who is doing exactly the work they were meant to do, and for that reason alone it's worth seeing her. She helped us unstick some dynamics in our relationship that had been stuck for a decade - and that was just the first session! This was, hands down, the best money l've ever spent.”
What is sex and intimacy coaching?
Sex & intimacy coaching is a therapeutic relationship created between you and your coach, with the intention of supporting your desires for exploration and growth. What this means practically, is that whatever aspect of your relationship or sex life that you want to work on — such as communication skills, romance, even spanking — we do real-time in session.
Sex & Intimacy coaching is highly individualized. Have your unique questions answered via a free consultation call.
We will follow a structured yet personalized path to achieve your unique goals.
Discovery
While working with a sex and intimacy coach, your normal patterns of behavior will emerge within the therapeutic relationship. These patterns are key to your ability to create sexual and romantic connections; some behaviors nurture connection, while others prevent it. Once a behavior has been ingrained, it is difficult to know if it is still beneficial.
Connection
Working with a coach gives you the opportunity to receive real-time, constructive feedback on the most fundamental parts of your life – connection with another person. In session, you will be able to discover what turns you on, mentally, emotionally, and physically. You will also be able to understand how your words, presence, and touch affect the person you are with.
Practice
Sex and intimacy coaching is a call to action. Unlike traditional talk-therapy, you have the opportunity to practice skills and increase your confidence. How do we learn to initiate a conversation about boundaries, ask our partner to fulfill a fantasy, or safely tie wrists? By actually doing. Then doing it again. Because practice makes perfect.
“How can I work on sex with my coach if we don’t actually have sex?”
Sexuality is much more than two bodies entwined. If you think sex is just physical, then we have plenty to work on. Here are some topics we will cover:
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Desire
Many of us are unclear about what we want. Some of us know exactly what we want and can’t seem to find anyone to help us get it. And sometimes when we actually get what we ask for, it doesn’t feel as good as we thought it would. What is desire, really? When we understand our desire as not only a longing for physical satisfaction, but also as an emotional and relational need, were are more able to create sexual experiences that truly fulfill us. Exploring the complexity of your own desire is the first step towards getting more of what you want.
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Communication
How many times have you felt like your partner was not listening to you? Or perhaps you could see them trying to follow your words, but they just could not understand what you were saying. Communication breakdowns can leave us feeling alone and frustrated in relationships. Thankfully, you can learn to communicate your feelings and thoughts clearly, without getting trapped in a circular argument. Vulnerability, active listening, and staying present, make up the foundation of effective communication. I can teach you to master these skills with dependable practices.
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Pleasure
Although pleasure is most often associated with sexual gratification, in its purest form, pleasure is a feeling of happiness and enjoyment. Many people have been taught that seeking pleasure is at best frivolous, and at worst evil. By examining the beliefs we have about experiencing pleasure, we can challenge the idea that pleasure for the sake of pleasure is an unworthy goal. We can then seek to understand what we truly want from our relationships, and thus make them fulfilling and pleasurable. Together we will uncover the truth that feeling good is a good thing, and that running from our own pleasure is a waste of energy.
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Shame
We all have something, deep within ourselves, that we work very hard to hide. We keep these parts hidden from those we love, from those we want to love us, and even from ourselves. We believe that this hidden thing makes us bad and fundamentally unlovable. This is Shame - it feeds on isolation, fear, judgment, and secrets. Luckily, there are ways to overcome shame. Compassion, non-judgment, and love are all tools that combat and heal shame. Sharing with another person allows us to practice courage and self-acceptance, and eventually celebrate the parts of ourselves we once thought were terrible.
More niche topics…
Are you kinky? Would you like to find out? Many people are curious about exploring kink, D/s and BDSM, but taking the first steps to explore darker desires is intimidating for most people. Take my hand, and I will keep you safe as we explore the darkness together.
