Expertise
BDSM
Whether you want to dip your toe in BDSM or plunge deeper into your existing practice, we will do so utilizing a clear protocol which I developed that maximizes pleasure, connection and safety. While BDSM typically includes erotic role play centered on Dominance & submission it can also include a wide variety of activities such as bondage, kink, power play, and fantasy. Together, we will explore everything that BDSM has to offer
“Shelby is the queen of coaching and teaching BDSM.”
- Daisy, 2025
Dominance & submission
The erotic world of Dominance & Submission uniquely captivates our culture. Even those of us who feel more comfortable on the vanilla side of the erotic spectrum are often drawn in by tantalizing aspects of D/s. One way to understand Dominance & submission is by thinking of it as psychological eroticism, a means for us to explore our fantasies and erotic imagination to the fullest extent. The incorporation of role-play, props, and other accouterments of BDSM (bondage, dominance, sadism, masochism) can further enhance our fulfillment of D/s desires. Working together, we will experience Dominance & submission in a safe container, placing emphasis on communication, consent, and pleasure.
Dominance
Being a Dominant is a responsibility, an honor, and of course, a great pleasure. Beyond the intoxicating effects of power, exceptional domination comes down to the power of presence – a Dom’s ability to stay in the present moment so that they can keep their submissive present as well. If you desire to fully claim your inherent power as a leader and to learn how to become a capable Dom for your partner(s), I will guide you into discovering your potential. With every experience we share in session, your confidence will increase, along with your technique, skill mastery, and creativity. Each step of this process is carefully designed to guide you into becoming the sensual and powerful Dom you are meant to be. By the end of our work together, submissives will literally be on their knees, begging for your attention.
“Shelby helped me come to terms with my dominant side, and taught me how to play with it safely and confidently.”
Shawn, 2022
Do you long to take a break from the world around you, and find a temporary escape from the pressures and distractions of your everyday life? Many people in our modern world crave a space to experience pleasure and fulfillment without the burden of being who they are supposed to be or who society demands that they be. There is a realm that submissives call "sub-space." It is a place free from thought, pressure, responsibility, worry, and shame. Sub-space is a timeless place, in which you can fully let go and receive the care and attention that you so deeply crave.
I will take you there, and most importantly, teach you how to find it again and again.
If your desire is to be held in your submission and to fully let go of the world around you, I will create that space for you. Perhaps you just want to satisfy a curiosity about submissiveness before taking a larger plunge. Whatever your needs, together we will discover what you need to fully release yourself into another’s care, and learn what brings you the greatest pleasures as a submissive. Our time together will provide you with an experiential touchstone; a way for you to intuitively know when your needs are being met within a scene. At the end of our journey together, you will have a deep understanding of your needs, as well as the ability to ensure they are met.
submission
“Exploring my submissive side has made me feel more excited about sex than I ever have before. Shelby not only helped me figure out what I really wanted, but she also taught me how to ask my husband for what I want.”
Madeline, 2022
Fetish & Kink
Sometimes our fantasies and desires turn towards the esoteric. Outside of BDSM, fetish and kink are often viewed as deviant, dirty, or just plain weird. When we have desires that are not celebrated in mainstream media, we often develop shame and fear about these desires. We may try to hide them from our lovers, and in extreme cases, these desires prevent us from pursuing relationships altogether.
Only when we have the opportunity to explore our kinks and fetishes with a supportive partner or community can we come to understand them and integrate them into our sex-lives in ways that are sustainable and fulfilling. Whether single or partnered, I would love to help you understand your kinks and fetishes, in hopes of more fulfilling intimacy.
Non-Monogamy
It seems like nowadays, everyone knows someone or has heard of someone in their community who has dabbled in some form of non-monogamy. Over the years more and more of my clients, both single people and couples, ask me questions about polyamory, open marriage, threesomes, and even sex parties.
Most commonly, people simply want to know what are the options and how non-monogamous relationships even work. Since there are numerous forms non-monogamy can take, it may be difficult to determine which relationship models may work for you. What is most important to understand is that you can create whatever kind of relationship that will work best for you.
Religious Shame
While religion is a source of community, guidance, and meaning for many people, it also has a darker side. Religion has a power that is virtually unrivaled when it comes to creating feelings of shame, guilt, and fear. This is no more apparent than in our sexual development, when our young minds are particularly vulnerable to harmful messaging. This interference with our natural sexual development can have serious and lasting consequences that impact our entire lives. Common consequences of conservative religious upbringing can include:
Repressed Desire
Low self-esteem, depression, self-loathing, and/or suicidal ideation
Unhealthy Body Image
Difficulty creating fulfilling sexual and romantic relationships
One of the primary ways in which religion creates sexual shame is through the imposition of strict moral guidelines that mandate what behavior is and is not acceptable. Any deviation from these prescribed boundaries is considered sinful or immoral. These teachings often lead individuals to internalize a sense of guilt and shame when engaging in sexual activities outside these narrowly defined parameters. People often feel similar guilt and shame even when operating within the strict behavioral code. This tension can lead people to repress their natural desire altogether, leading to physical, emotional, and psychological consequences down the road.
Religion frequently perpetuates a dichotomous understanding of sexuality as inherently sinful and impure, contrasting it with notions of purity and spiritual enlightenment. This duality can foster a deep-seated sense of shame and guilt, as individuals struggle to reconcile their natural sexual desires with the expectations set forth by their religious teachings. This conflict between innate human sexuality and religious doctrines can leave individuals feeling trapped, confused, and burdened by shame. This shame can manifest itself in feelings of unworthiness, self-judgment, and a pervasive sense of sinfulness.
Religious teachings often depict the human body as inherently sinful or unclean; transforming natural functions and desires into something ugly, wrong, and evil. Individuals may find it difficult to accept their bodies and sexual desires as natural and healthy, leading to a pervasive sense of shame and self-denial. Viewing the body with fear and disgust also leads to a lack of practical knowledge, which is essential for basic maintenance and health. These feelings can also impact our bodies physically, leading to sexual dysfunction, lack of pleasure, and even pain.
Religious institutions often play a significant role in shaping cultural attitudes towards sexuality. They may reinforce conservative beliefs, reinforce gender roles, and promote sexual abstinence as the only morally acceptable path. This emphasis on abstinence and suppression of sexual desires is confusing and can lead to a fear of intimacy, and relationships.
People who seek healing from religious shame have more fulfilling relationships and more pleasurable sex than those who remain bound by ... It is possible to embrace your faith and have a healthy sexlife. Sex and relationships can be a source of discovery, pleasure, and fulfillment. If you are ready to unburden yourself from the limiting beliefs that prevent you from accepting your sexual self and your desires, I would love to guide you in that process.
