Impact Play For Beginners
I was twenty years old when I received my first erotic spanking. I had just moved to San Francisco and was in a new relationship with a guy I’ll call J. J was actually the one who initiated the activity; before him, none of my sexual partners had expressed any interest in anything kinky. So when he brought it up, I jumped at the chance to finally explore something on the naughty side. I would later discover that J was a bonafide spanko (someone with a spanking fetish), but he didn’t know that yet. All J knew was that spanking turned him on and that he wanted to spank me. And while I was not particularly interested in pain, I was curious about finally exploring kink. Without much preamble, I found myself lying face down over J’s lap; my toes barely touching the floor, my dress pulled up and my panties around my knees.
Honestly, I was surprised by how much I enjoyed the vulnerability I felt laying over J’s lap. I was exposed, in pain, and completely at his mercy. There was a subtle bite of pain that intensified with each strike of his hand, which contrasted nicely with the gentle feel of his finger tips gliding over my reddening skin. I also noticed that I enjoyed having J’s undivided attention, and feeling his arousal growing beneath me really turned me on. When the pain started to build, I struggled to focus on the pleasure of the moment and right before I decided I had had enough, my body was flooded with endorphins. That’s when it hit me - the heady mix of pain, pleasure, vulnerability and control was what I had been missing. It was several years later when I discovered that I enjoyed giving the spankings even more than I liked receiving them - but that is another story.
Impact play is an exhilarating subset of BDSM that involves consensual striking or hitting with various tools or body parts for sensual pleasure, excitement, and power dynamics. All forms of impact play, especially in the context of BDSM or D/s are always consensual and negotiated between partners beforehand. I was very lucky to have a good experience my very first time, and I discovered that it's important to establish boundaries, communication, and trust before engaging in any form of BDSM, including impact play. This particular form of kink can add a new dimension to your sexual experiences and deepen the connection between you and your partner. If you're curious about exploring impact play for the first time, this guide is designed to provide you with essential information and safety tips to make your journey enjoyable and safe. This guide is equally useful to help you deepen your impact play practices, or repair previously bad experiences with impact play. No matter where you are in your journey, below you will learn how to have consistent pleasure and safety going forward.
Types of Impact Play
It is useful to know all of the various methods of impact play, each with its own unique sensations and tools, even if you have a favorite and don’t deviate much. Some common types of impact play include:
Spanking: Spanking is one of the most accessible and widely practiced forms of impact play. It typically involves slapping or spanking the buttocks or other body parts using hands or specialized implements like paddles or floggers. While using toys to give a spanking can be fun, using one's hands to spank or slap can provide an intimate and personal connection during impact play.
Flogging: Flogging involves the use of a flogger, a tool with multiple tails, often made of leather or other materials. The sensation can range from a gentle tickling to a more intense stinging or thudding feeling, depending on the flogger and technique used.
Caning: Caning is the act of striking the body with a thin, rigid cane. It can be both sensual and intense, depending on the force and precision of the strikes.
Whipping: Whipping uses a whip, which can be a single tail or multiple tails. The sensation can vary from a sharp sting to a deeper, thudding impact.
Paddling: Paddling involves using a paddle, typically made of wood or leather. The sensation can be a mix of stinging and thudding, depending on the type of paddle and the force of the strike.
Crops and Riding Crops: These are long, thin implements, often used by equestrians. While the tool resembles a cane, the tip has a leather tongue. The leather tongue is what's used to strike someone during impact play, rather than the length of the tool.
Safety First
Safety is paramount when engaging in any form of BDSM play, and impact play is no exception. Here are some essential safety guidelines for everyone:
Communication: Before engaging in impact play, have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your desires, boundaries, and any concerns.
Consent: Always obtain explicit and informed consent from your partner before engaging in impact play. Consent should be freely given, enthusiastic, and can be withdrawn at any time.
Safeword: Establish a safeword that can be used to halt the activity if it becomes too intense or uncomfortable.
Warm-Up: Begin with a gentle warm-up to prepare the body for impact. This can involve light caresses and softer strikes before moving on to more intense play.
Start Slow: If you're new to impact play, start slowly and gradually increase the intensity as you become more comfortable and experienced. You can explore different tools and techniques to find what works best for you.
Target Awareness: Be aware of the areas you're striking. The buttocks, thighs, and upper back are common areas for impact play. Avoid sensitive areas such as joints, the spine, bones that are close to the surface of the skin, and any part of the body where injury could occur. Never strike someone’s face with anything except your open palm.
Check for Allergies: If you're using implements made of materials like latex or rubber, make sure your partner doesn't have any allergies to these materials.
Aftercare: Following an impact play session, engage in aftercare to provide comfort and reassurance to your partner. This can involve cuddling, gentle massage, an orgasm, or simply checking in on their emotional well-being.
All little bit about bruising…
Bruising occurs when small blood vessels break and blood pools under the skin. For the most part, small bruises are not dangerous and heal on their own. However, some people are more susceptible to bruising and for some, large bruises pose a significant health risk. Before engaging in any sort of impact play, ask your partner if they are on blood thinners or have any medical conditions that make them more susceptible to bruising. It is also important to ask your partner if they would enjoy receiving bruises or if they prefer to be unmarked after the impact play is over.
If you want to avoid bruising, or marking the skin I suggest you follow these tricks:
Limit the intensity of your strikes or slaps.
Rub the skin between strikes, or set of strikes, to soothe the skin and move the pooling blood.
Spread your strikes over a larger area and avoid hitting the same spot over and over.
Apply cool lotion or something soothing to the skin during aftercare.
I encourage beginners to use their hands before exploring with toys because they receive instant, tangible feedback about how hard they are hitting their partner and how much pain they are inflicting. If your hand is beginning to hurt, their booty is hurting as well. If your hand is red and swelling, your partner’s booty is going to be red and the skin will also be swelling. Biofeedback is an excellent teacher, and all Tops, Doms, and Sadists need to learn these lessons if they want to play with others.
Choosing Your Tools
The tools you choose for impact play can significantly influence the sensations experienced. It's essential to select tools that match your and your partner's comfort levels and preferences. Some considerations when choosing tools include:
Material: Impact play tools can be made from various materials, including leather, wood, rubber, and more. The material will affect the sensations and intensity of the play. The more rigid the material or object, the more pain will be inflicted. If you are new to impact play, or are less interested in pain, I suggest beginning with items made from leather.
Size and Weight: The size and weight of the tool will impact the intensity of the strikes. Heavier tools may deliver a more thudding sensation, while lighter ones can provide a stinging feeling.The same rule applies to width; thin objects, like a cane, will increase pain because the force is focused on a small area. Whereas broad objects, like a paddle, spread out the sensation over more skin.
Handle and Grip: Consider the handle or grip of the tool. A comfortable grip allows for better control and precision during play, as well as good feedback for the person holding the tool.
Versatility: Some tools, like floggers and paddles, offer different sensations based on the side or part of the tool used. Experiment with different techniques to find what works best for you and your partner.
Exploring the Sensations
Impact play can offer a wide range of sensations, from gentle and sensual to intense and challenging. Your experience will depend on factors such as the tool, technique, and the level of intensity. Here are some common sensations you might encounter:
Sting: Lighter tools or techniques may produce a stinging sensation on the skin. This can be sharp and quick but tends to dissipate relatively quickly.
Thud: Heavier tools or techniques can create a deeper, more resonant thudding sensation. This feeling often lingers and can be quite intense.
Heat: Impact play can generate heat in the areas that are struck. The warmth can enhance the overall sensory experience. When using your hands to give a spanking, you will notice that your palms will become red and hot to the touch pretty quickly. As your partner’s skin starts to redden from the slaps they receive, the increase in blood flow will also increase the temperature of that area of the body.
Endorphin Rush: Some people experience an endorphin rush during impact play, leading to feelings of euphoria and excitement. Endorphins are released when we experience pain and they trigger the body’s natural opioid receptors. The longer we are in a manageable state of pain, our endorphin levels increase and we can feel more pleasure or euphoria.
Emotional Release: Impact play can also be emotionally cathartic, allowing participants to release stress and tension. This can often result in tears. Many people cry during impact play, and for many this experience feels like a pleasurable release. If your partner begins to cry, pause for a moment and ask them if they are okay to continue or if they need to call their safeword.
Impact play can be a thrilling and satisfying addition to your sexual repertoire, but it's vital to approach it with care, communication, and safety in mind. Remember that everyone's experience is unique, and it's essential to communicate with your partner about which kinds of sensations could bring them the most pleasure. As a beginner, take your time to explore different tools, techniques, and sensations, always prioritizing consent and aftercare. Whether you're looking to enhance your power dynamic, create deeper intimacy, or simply add a new layer of excitement to your relationship, impact play can be a rewarding experience when done responsibly and consensually.