Sex & Intimacy coaching is a therapeutic relationship created between you and your coach, with the intention of supporting your desires for exploration and growth. What this means practically, is that whatever aspect of your relationship or sex life that you want to work on, such as communication skills, romance, even spanking - we do real-time in session.

 

DISCOVER

While working with a sex and intimacy coach, your normal patterns of behavior will emerge within the therapeutic relationship. These patterns are key to your ability to create sexual and romantic connections; some behaviors nurture connection, while others prevent it. These behaviors are our strategies for navigating the world. Once a strategy has been ingrained, it is difficult to know if it is still beneficial.

CONNECT

Working with a coach gives you the opportunity to receive real-time, constructive feedback on the most fundamental parts of your life – connection with another person. In session, you will be able to discover what turns you on, mentally, emotionally, and physically. You will also be able to understand how your words, presence, and touch affect the person you are with.

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practice

Sex and Intimacy Coaching is a call to action. Unlike traditional talk-therapy, you have the opportunity to practice skills and increase your confidence. How do we learn to initiate a conversation about boundaries, ask our partner to fulfill a fantasy, or safely tie wrists? By actually doing. Then doing it again. Because practice makes perfect. 

“How can I work on sex with my coach if we don’t actually have sex?”

If you think sex is just about being naked in bed with someone, then we have plenty to work on. Sexuality is much more than two bodies entwined. Here are just a few topics we may cover:

 

DESIRE

Many of us are unclear about what we want. Some of us know exactly what we want and can’t seem to find anyone to help us get it. And sometimes when we actually get what we ask for, it doesn’t feel as good as we thought it would. What is desire, really? Why do we want what we want? Most importantly, once we know what we want, how do we ask for it?

 

COMMUNICATION

How many times have you felt like your partner was not listening to you? Or perhaps you could see them trying to follow your words, but they just could not understand what you were saying. Communication breakdowns can leave us feeling alone and frustrated in relationships. Thankfully, you can learn to communicate your feelings and thoughts clearly, without getting trapped in a circular argument. Vulnerability, active listening and staying present make up the foundation of effective communication and you can master these with practice.

 
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DOMINANCE & SUBMISSION

Films like Fifty Shades of Grey and The Secretary give the impression that intimate relationships of dominance & submission are all whips and bruises. But when we separate the BD from S&M, what are we left with? Seduction, surrender and fantasy. Discover what dominance and submission mean to you by allowing yourself to sink deep into your fantasies and play all the parts. Unlock your deviant dominance, or your sensual submissive. Who knows, you may even be a switch. To learn more about BDSM on your own, please check out this article I wrote for sexcoaching.com!

 

SHAME

We all have something, deep within ourselves, that we work very hard to hide from the world. We keep these parts hidden from those we love, from those we want to love us, and even from ourselves. For we think that this hidden thing makes us bad and fundamentally unlovable. This is Shame - it feeds on isolation; it feeds on fear, judgment, and secrets.

Luckily, there are ways to overcome shame. Compassion, non-judgment, and love are all tools that combat and heal shame. Sharing these dark parts of ourselves with another person allows us to practice courage and self-acceptance, and eventually celebrate the parts of ourselves we once thought were terrible.

 
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Pleasure

Although pleasure is most often associated with sexual gratification, in its purest form pleasure is a feeling of happiness and enjoyment. Many people have been taught that the seeking of pleasure is at best frivolous, and at worst evil. By examining the beliefs we have about seeking pleasure, we can challenge the idea that pleasure for the sake of pleasure is an unworthy goal. We can then seek to understand what we truly want from our relationships, and thus make them fulfilling and and pleasurable.


the Somatica Method

"The Somatica Method is a holistic, loving and systematic approach to sex and relationship coaching that invites people to move beyond shame, clarify their needs and boundaries, live emotionally connected and erotically embodied lives, and experience the joy and satisfaction of great sex and authentic relationships. The skills required for success in sex and relationships are learnable and the Somatica training offers a comprehensive and systematic approach to learning these skills. The Somatica Method is pleasure-based, interactive and experiential and based on up-to-date neuroscience research about how people learn, connect and experience personal growth." – Somatica Institute

 

FAQ

Sex & Intimacy coaching is highly individualized, and the best way to have your unique questions answered is through a consultation call.   In the meantime, here are some basics:

 

 
 

Q. Who do you work with?

I work with men, women, the LGBT community and couples. I generally work with people who are attracted to women, who are curious about intimacy with women, and women who require a female ally while exploring their sexuality.

 

Q. What are the boundaries?

Have you ever been told someone’s boundaries (explicitly) the first time you met them? That would be amazing, right?! If only first dates were that easy. Sex & Intimacy Coaching depends on the authenticity of our interactions. So, you will not be getting any carefully prepared document on my boundaries. However, I can tell you that we will not have intercourse and we both keep our clothes on at all times.

 

 
 
 

Or chat with me over email...

 
 
Or whatever you're comfortable with...